Why is there still so much stigma attached to the word DIVORCE?
For some reason, the seven-letter word sends chills down the spines of many from different cultures and backgrounds. The word “divorce” is often seen as a dirty word. But why?
I often meet men and women who say they do not wish to get into a relationship with someone who has been divorced.I myself am divorced and it baffles me every time I hear this.The word divorce immediately attaches a negative stigma to me and the stigma never leaves you. It may not be the case for all cultures but it certainly is in certain cultures. Even though times are changing, unfortunately there are those who haven't yet changed with the times.
There are prominent divorcee figures in many cultures and societies from history to the present day. There have been Princesses, Kings, Queens, great activists, inventors, artists, noble peace prize winners and even prominent religious figures who have all been through a divorce. King Edward VIII famously abdicated for love when he married a divorcee and gave up his crown in 1936 just for love and he did not care whether or not she had been previously married.
In recent times, we have seen Prince Harry’s marriage to Megan Markle (also a "divorcee"). There are divorcees everywhere from every walk of life and every background. Sometimes things don't work out so you walk away. It is normal and it is healthy not to stay in a failed marriage. So why is it that in certain cultures people cannot seem to get over the fact that someone has been divorced? I just don't understand the thinking behind it? If you know the answer ...please ...let me know.
There is nothing “dirty” about the word divorce and many friends from certain cultures tell me how it does make them feel that way when they are treated differently as soon as they mention that they have been divorced. Does it make you any less capable in any way if you have been divorced? Well if you didn’t know already, the answer is a big fat NO!
I would like to know what is going on in the minds of these cultures? Is it that they themselves are insecure, and cannot get over the thought of the divorcee’s past? Is it a jealously thing? Do they feel as if they simply could not replace the ex-wife/husband? If this is the case, then this is an insecurity issue that the "anti-divorcees" must deal within themselves. What about previous relationships in general? Aren't they as intense as a marriage and in some cases more so? Aren't they as long-term, committed, and as intimate as a marriage? So why the stigma behind the divorcee?
A relationship is a relationship. Being in any form of a relationship can be like a marriage sometimes. You put the same hard work and love into it. Some unmarried relationships last longer than many marriages, and some may even be a lot more intense and complicated than a marriage. So, why not just say, ''I don't wish to meet a person who has ever been in any form of previous relationship whatsoever''? ...Some advice to the anti divorcees...Good luck with that, as there aren't many people who haven't been in some form of a previous relationship, married or otherwise.
Here's a tough for you anti divorcees ...If someone were to be in a relationship for five years (unmarried) and after five years they both decide the relationship is working and walk away, does that make then less of a catch if they went through exactly the same thing but instead they were married for those five years? No - it doesn't? So again - my question is ...what??..please explain your rational behind your thinking?
I personally do not see an issue with being divorced and I never have even before my previous marriage - I actually married a divorcee myself and didn't think anything of it. Two people met, got married, and unfortunately, for whatever reason, it didn't work out and that was that..just lie any relationship. So If you are hung up on why someone is divorced, then shouldn't you at least get to know the reasons why and give them a chance to explain without making a quick judgement?
For example, some people leave their partners because they got married too young and drifted apart, some are forced into arranged marriages, some are in abusive, controlling and unfaithful marriages, so they had no choice but to end the marriage and get a divorce. It was the right thing to do. Are we not all in the pursuit of happiness? So why would we stay in something that makes us deeply miserable? How can these people judge someone for leaving an unhappy situation and simply label another human being as nothing but as a divorcee, without knowing all the facts first?
I respect those who were strong enough to walk away from a failed marriage. It takes guts. In some cases, divorce makes you stronger and you find yourself again and you may then even appreciate the good ones (as you now know what bad looks like for you too).
Again - this is not the case in all cultures but is certainly the case in many. So, if you are one of this people who have a problem with dating someone who is previously divorced...please stop and think about why it is that you actually feel this way? ...oh and grow up!