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CAN WOMEN HAVE IT ALL?



Are our careers holding our family life back, or is our family life holding our careers back?

Women have fought for many years for equality. Now that we think we have it (or almost), are we worried that it might all be taken away from us from the moment we say "yes, I will"?

In this day and age, women are aiming high and shooting even higher. As a professional working woman, I face many challenges on a daily basis, like having to constantly prove myself and strive harder to reach equality in the workplace. However, the struggle is not just at work. These challenges happen in our personal lives, too.

When a woman gets hitched, does she lose all her rights to be an amazing career woman or have a social life? Do we have to sacrifice speaking to our male friends and going on holidays with our friends? Do we have to stop going to the gym as often, or pursuing that hobby we love because there just isn't enough time for work, our partner and our interests? Does life just become about our partner, and then, eventually, our children?

The role of a wife, and especially of a mother, is one that no career in the world could match. The level of demand and skill involved in being a mother is simply indescribable. I have a huge amount of respect for the mothers who are dedicating their lives to raising their beautiful children, but where does that leave our careers?

Some women have immersed themselves in their jobs and meeting a man has taken a backseat.  If we are lucky enough to meet someone, we are compatible with, then why is it a constant struggle to juggle spending time with him and doing great at our job? Suddenly, you have someone else in your life that needs your time and attention; someone who gets a little annoyed when you work way too late (because that's what you've been used to, so why wouldn't you?), and who feels neglected when you haven't had the chance to call.

Being a successful career woman in a relationship brings many challenges. Other than being unable to find the time to meet men and build lasting relationships, when we do finally meet one, we often have to deal with issues such as a man being uncomfortable with your success, or one who doesn't want you to have a career at all, and would prefer you to stay at home like a good little Asian girl.

As an Asian woman, it's always been the norm for the man to be the breadwinner. It’s almost a cultural thing, but what about when the woman becomes the breadwinner, or she meets men who don't match up to her achievements, ambitions, and goals? How important is a man's job to you? How important is your job to him? I've often found that men become insecure around high-achieving and high-earning women to the point that the woman has to play down her success so that he doesn't feel emasculated.

In a struggling economical time, finances are a big issue in our relationships. We are living in an era where often, both couples have to work, in order to afford to live. More and more women have to work longer and harder and are pushing themselves beyond their limits to help provide for their families and keep the work-life balance right.

Some women do not have financial worries, and simply work for self-worth, or as an instrument to keep themselves busy, keep their brains ticking, and allow themselves to have a bit of a social life outside of the house. So, what about when something else in your life needs to take priority? How do career-driven women handle the sudden shift? Is the transition hard?

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